The Circle of Life

I don't often post much about family dynamics outside my immediate family. My mom, aka Memere, has been watching Aiden since he was a year old starting with two days a week. Right before Eli was born, she started watching him full time. That was over two years ago. Last week was my mom's last week watching the boys full time. I am grateful for the time she has given them. I am grateful for what she has given us. The time had come, quite some time ago, that it was time for the boys to start going to a different daycare.

Today was the first day of their new daycare. We are in the "honeymoon phase." They had a great day. They were happy to see us leave. Aiden quickly shooed us out the door. I cried as I drove down the street. There is a huge amount of comfort when your children are with your family, and it is going to take some time for me to have trust and faith. I am a control freak, and I know this is what is best, and it is the best, but I guess you could say I don't have blind faith right now.

Aiden's birthday was the other day. He turned FOUR! He is getting so big! I can't believe I have a four year old. He is growing so quickly, and he is making so much progress. He is in a few phases of asking where things are as well as saying everything is, "Mine!" Yet, at the same time, he will randomly come up to us and say he loves us and will just randomly say, "truck and buses." I think he is onto the next catch phrase to replace more inappropriate phases.


The day after Aiden's birthday was the six year anniversary of my stroke. I have had a lot of highs related to my stroke this month as it is Go Red month with the American Heart Association. I spoke at two events and received wonderful feedback at both. At one, I spoke at length with a doctor who sought me out and wanted to know more about my story. He wanted to learn from my stroke. If you know my story, that is a big deal! At another event, I had a lady give me a bouquet of flowers she won in a raffle telling me how grateful she was that I shared my story. She was in tears, and she brought me to tears. I felt very proud to be able to share my story!

Tomorrow is my dad's ten year anniversary of his passing. For years, I actually would go throughout the day and not even notice it was the anniversary because I started to remember him not just by the date of his death but it was more about the random things that happened that would help me remember him or feel him- sometimes a saying or like when I saw an older man wearing a ball cap right on top of his head. But something about it being ten years is making it so hard. I tear up whenever I think about it. So tomorrow, I will not be going to his headstone because he won't be there- he will be in my kitchen with me as I finish my kitchen remodel listening to the AM Radio and trying to whistle.


And lastly, in less than two week, my baby is turning two. TWO. He is currently cutting his molars, telling me that sheep say, "Baa," and nodding his head and appropriately saying yes! Today he told me that he had fun at daycare.



This month so many events hold major significance in my life. I have to keep holding onto the thought that with death comes life and with change good things can come.

Funny-isms

Russ was coming home and surprised Aiden with a choice- what do you want at McDonalds? Aiden replied, "Cheeseburger King.". After a few goings back and forth, Russ said, "Do you mean Burger King?". "Yes, Daddy, Cheeseburger King."

A few days ago, I went to visit a friend, and I got stuck in her driveway. I was VERY frustrated. From the backseat I hear, "Oh, come on!"

I am no longer Mommy. I am Mommy Denicey. Russ is no longer Daddy Russell, he is Daddy Russell-e. Yes, folks, he was Daddy Russell according to Aiden.

Chaos

I have been missing for a while now...lots going on with both boys. But I had to share this video.




There are many exciting things for us on this video:

The growth of Aiden's language
The growth of Aiden's positive interaction with Elijah
Aiden's ability to mimic our positive language and praise
Plus how cute it is and how funny it is!!!

This was and is a huge deal for us.

We have been working really, really hard with Aiden's school and the outside class I have been taking to work on Aiden's behavior. We have also started Elijah's weekly therapy as well for his speech and developmental delays.

When we have moments like the one we posted, it reminds us that hard work does indeed pay off.

Speech

Speech is more than just saying words. It is having the tongue in the right spot, the brain triggering so many things to do, the practice, the mimicking, and so on.

Eli has qualified for speech. But you say- he is not even two? Well, folks, my son doesn't even point or try to mimic what he wants or tries to tell us. He just cries and cries and cries.

He hears us, and he can easily go get a toy and bring it to us or put a toy in this toy chest when we ask him to pick up, but he can't point and even grunt.

We will be finding out more in the next few weeks, but I am just thankful that we can get started a bit sooner with Eli's speech.

Looks Like Holland

Last week, we had Aiden's open house at pre-school. It was a great experience. We learned a lot. Aiden is in the class with kids that have Autism, have seziures, and have lots of needs. Many of our friends, seem to think he just has a speech issue. It goes beyond it, and it is hard to understand unless you live with us and see him day in and day out. We got home that evening and just shook our heads asking each other, "What is it about our brains and our DNA that didn't mesh? Why didn't we see this coming?"

Fast forward to this week. I took Elijah to his 18 month check-up. It came to the list of questions of does he do this, does he do that. The list of broad, standardized questions that make you start comparing your child to the rest... Elijah only says a few words: dog, banana, stuck, ball, read. He doesn't even address us as momma and dadda. Aiden didn't either.

You start comparing, taking notes...Then we did it again. We asked each other, " What is it about our brains and our DNA that didn't mesh? Why didn't we see this coming?"

So I did as the pediatrician recommended. I called my case worker at CDS. She said, "Oh- you really are taking that trip to Holland." She then told me about this following poem:

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

So, on this journey with Elijah, we will be taking a trip to Holland too! It might be a permanent trip or just a temporary trip, but we will have to not think about our DNA and think about what we can do with Elijah and how we can make the best stay in Holland for him as possible.

Are you and your family in Holland right now? Is it a permanent trip or temporary? How does this poem relate to your family?

Weekend Fun

This past weekend, we didn't have a lot on the calendar to do. We did have a date night for Saturday night which was wonderful. We actually did dinner AND a movie. It was wonderful! But the weather was just stunning for the Columbus holiday long weekend. We were in the high 70's with no humidity. It was nice to be able to wear tank tops and shorts one last time.

We contemplated going to the Fryeburg Fair on Sunday but was told due to the rain earlier in the week, it was packed, hot and over priced. We tossed some ideas around about what we could do that would be a fraction of the cost. This is what we decided to do:





On our way over to the playground, Eli taught us how to chase squirrels!




After playing on the playground, we picked up some yummy goodies at The Cookie Jar. We continued to go down Route 77 to Fort Williams.



I would say it was a success!!!


Tell me, what do you and your family do for frugal fun?!! Write a blog about it and link it up below!

Apple Picking

Nothing says autumn like a trip to the apple orchard. It was also a very warm, humid day. This orchard serves warm, homemade donuts that are just divine! All of us gobbled them right up- an apple cider donut, blueberry donut, and pumpkin donut. My favorite was the blueberry! I must add that all of these were made with ingredients found right on the farm! Yes-folks, we are still able to pick blueberries in September because we have had a warmer end to summer.